Matzo Ball Borscht

I made borscht tonight. I won't give a recipe because it is borscht. put some beets and things in it. I feel like that is enough. It was not very good borscht that I made tonight. It had no meat in it... I care for my vegetarian roommate. I suggested putting baco bits in it, but my roommate said that was a bad idea. I then suggested putting in some BBQ sauce, but again, she said no. Apparently the borscht she got in Greenpoint had a sweet taste. She suggested sugar. I used sugar. But then IT TASTED SUGARY. SO STUPID IS MY ROOMMATE.* Anyways. I won't include a recipe but I will say don't put sugar in it.

I decided to make matozo, matza machhhhtzoshevitzchhhh borscht. So I made matzo balls and put them in. In the balls I putt dill -- too many Ts in that word putt but I'm ok with that, I putt dill inside of the matzo balls.


This soup was ok. I ended up adding a boy-on-cube. which I wanted to avoid since otherwise the soup was so healthy and natural and whole foods (the store not the food trend) based. but that artificial, high sodium, eight year old powder was delicious. I gotsa say. the matzo balls were delicious in the beet soup. I ate all of them.


For dessert I had ice cream. there was something chewy in it which I imagine in actuality was some runaway dill. but I've had a lot of vodka** so I'm of the mindset that it could be a spider leg. I assume everything is part of a terantuala after a movie which caused childhood trauma.

Me: Liz, how do you spell terrantula?
Lis- tah-ran-two-la
Me: no really, not phonetics
Liz t-a-r-a-blahlha
Me: I lost you after tara.
Liz: ugh, t-a-r-a-n-t-u-l-a. I'm an excellent speller.



* she is not stupid, I Love her dearly.

** It's infused vodka so totally appropriate.

Something I woke up with.

I woke up the other day and had a terrible belly ache. My sheets were covered in some sort of yellow liquid and there was a bean in my hair. Now, if this was a piece of kale I'd be fine. I always wake up with a piece of kale in my hair after a night of drinking. It's my drunk food. I know. Anyways, beans are not my drunk food. Primarily because it is not something that you put soy sauce on and therefore something I want nothing to do with.

I went into the kitchen and found some curry powder about and a WHOLE bunch of pots. But still couldn't figure it out. Luckily I took a picture which allowed me to find a memory.

From what I gather, the recipe is as follows:

Onions - most likely sauteed.
Chow Mai Fun noodles - most likely overcooked
A can of black beans - hopefully strained
Soy Sauce
Curry Powder
Siracha
Olive oil - no idea why
And a fried egg on top.

Chia Grits

This morning I debated between my two breakfast options: Grits VS Oatmeal. I looked at the nutrition facts, pretty much the same thing besides the huge fiber difference... and the fact that you can put cheese in one. So my decision then became cheese or fiber.

I decided cheese. Then I decided both. At first I was going to just do a shot of chia seeds (fill a shot glass with juice add a table spool of chia seeds, wait a minute then shoot - this action makes me feel at home). But I had no juice so I decided I could probably just add it to the grits.

Make grits according to directions

Then Add:
Some Monteray (Monterrey/Monneray/Moneray) Jack Cheese
Salt
Curry Spice
Siracha
Chia Seeds

Vegetarian Lentil Gazpacho

I just had drinks with my biggest supporter of this food blog, my brother. As we sat there, him with his hot toddy, and me with my tequila and soda with pickle juice and hot sauce (totally awesome), I told him that at last I am starting the blog again. So starting it in fact, that I already started it a few days ago. I told him about the truffle asparagus on miso grits and a poached egg and he seemed so impressed that he was totally unimpressed. "That sounds good" he said almost disappointedly. Well this entry is for him. Although I have to say, this 'dish', not totally bad.

I was moving out of my apartment which I shared with five people into a normal person apartment. As I was finishing my packing I realized how hungry I was. I had already eaten all of the year old halloween candy from one of my roommates and had desimated my other roommates ramen supply so I decided to go deep into my old cubbord.

There was a can of lentil soup. Perf. I'll make lentil soup. Except it wasn't so much lentil soup as lentils in a can. Close enough.

Directions

Open lentil can
Pour in bacobits
Eat
Add more bacobits



I suppose you could heat it... I decided on more of a gazpacho brand. And if you really want to get fancy you could even use a bowl - but I had packed all those. Besides the can feels more rustic. Like camping.. maybe as I'm broke as hell I'll compare everything to being like camping... I like not having heat or toilet paper, like camping...

Miso-Truffle Asparagus over Italian-Soy Grits topped with a Poached Egg.

So I have decided to start this again. And start this off right. With a truffle-miso asparagus over Italian cheesy soy grits topped with a poached egg and roasted, maybe called fried, garlic.

I made this for three people and the rations were perfect. Perfect in the sense that they were the amount that people should eat and not in the sense of what people wanted to eat.

I tried doing something fancy which is slow poaching the eggs in their shell. To do this you are supposed to put the eggs in water that is 140-145 degrees (you should place either a baking rack or a steamer thing in the pot to put the eggs on so they don't touch the bottom of the pot). This is supposed to take 40 minutes. Bullshit bullshit and an hour twenty later no freaking eggs. I mean eggs, but just heated up versions of what they were before. So I freaked out a bit, fried some and then did my way of poaching eggs:

bring a pot of water to a boil. Put an egg in the pot. Wait a few minutes. Then pour everything into a strainer and don't give a shit about whether it looks cohesive.

For the grits I used slow cooking, ie 15 minutes instead of 5. I put about three cloves of minced garlic in with some herbs de provence (which after googling I discovered is not spelled herbs de provonce). This didn't taste too well because I hate herbs de provence. I hate saying it and I feel rediculous for typing it. I then decided it clearly needed soy sauce and miso, which would also make it compliment the asparagi.

Grits:
2 cups water brought to boil with three minced cloves of garlic and herbs de provence
1 tblespn red miso
1 tblsspn butter
1/2 cup Grits
splash of low sodium soy
About a 1.5 inch cube of Monterrey Jack (cause that's all I had left)
sprinkle salt to make up for low sodium nature of salt.

Oven at 350
cut off bottom inch of asparagi and peel the bottom inch that's left - only really if you have some thick ass asparagus like I did.
Line cookie sheet with aluminum then lay out asparagus.
Drizzle (read coat) with truffle oil and two - 100 minced garlic cloves, some salt and bake for like 15 minutes +/- for thickness of asapargus - don't over cook because asparagus without a crunch is stupid.

Put everything on the plate. I topped the poached egg with the remaining garlic that was on the pan with the asparagus.



Ok, so the picture looks disgusting - I probably should have taken the picture before I stabbed away at the egg. But this was one of the better things I have ever made.

Cottage Bagel

I don't know if it's part of growing up, but I fucking love breakfast now. Still not scrambled eggs cause they're gross. I thought it may be a good idea to go to whole foods and get a whole wheat everything bagel that I can scoop out and place low fat veggie cream cheese in and top with cucumbers. But none of this apparently exists in whole foods. Not even plain low fat cream cheese. But this morning I was feeling particularly determined and self righteous and refused to buy regular cream cheese. So cottage cheese is kind of similar... maybe I could mash it to make it more cream cheesey. So there's that. And I didn't feel like the maintenance of a cucumber so I bought sprouts.



This does not taste good because cottage cheese is not cream cheese. Not terrible. Not great.

Tom Kah Ramen Soup.

I fear with horror
Depletion of rice noodles
I have been hording

I was going to make plain tom kha gai, but I need space for new groceries.* I really like ramen and feel TKG is basically a broth that can be easily ramenized, in this case only if ramen was made with rice noodles.

*

1. Saute in sesame oil one onion, six garlic cloves, one cut up carrot and about one inch of grated ginger.
2. Pour in 1 box of chicken broth - I used organic by mistake. I hate organic chicken broth.
3. Add like three cups of water. I like quantity over quality.
4. I then added a stalk of lemon grass cut into 1.5 inch segments (large enough so people see them and do not choke and die. (people=me)).
5. Bring to Boil. 5.5 Add some more garlic. Because.

While I wait on this to boil I washed and cut up one small head of bok choy and sauteed it in sesame oil and soy sauce. I then turned it off. I brought one medium size pot of water to boil as well.

Back to the soup:
6. Add one can of light coconut milk and about half a lime worth of juice.
7. Bring to Boil.
8. Add thin small slices of chick.
9. Bring to Boil.
10. Once all cooked through turn off the stove and throw in some thin rice noodles. Stir them around and they will cook in like 5 minutes.

Then turn off the boiling water and give it a stir to cool it down a bit. Add a splash of vinegar and then poach an egg... I crack an egg into a tea cup and the slide it in. It takes about 3-4 minutes to cook and then you can scoop it up with a slitted spoon. Take out egg, lay it on soup. Reheat bok and put that on as well.

Tom Kah Gai Ramen