I am not gone. I am not done. I am not eating palatable classic dishes. I am creating a real webpage.

I played with other names for the blog, foodshit.com lucylincoln.com (my porn name) but think I will stick with the inedibleating.

mom = "did you spell it right this time?"

I guess she doesn't get the ingeniousness of combination fluid text.

To be done by.. 8/19. Sure.

btw - last night I made sushi hand rolls stuffed with grilled shiso calamari and toped with a garlic umeboshi miso paste. They were delicious.

I will update with the actual site shortly (see above).

Booze with Things

So I decided along the lines of things that are easy to do with little brain power and little standing up I would infuse some booze. I bought gin and vodka cause those seem like good easy starters for mass infusion. Now simply put, infusing is just putting things in things. But, just cause two things seem like they would combine well, or even just adequetely, does not mean that they will taste remotely paletable. Here is what I made.

The most obvious one, the cucumber gin, was delightful. I left them in for about two days and then strained them out. You can kinda taste test as you go.

My favorite was actually the cucumber cilantro gin. This with some seltzer and lime.. BAM.

But then there were the others... Lemongrass and rosemary together in vodka taste like cleaning product. I don't mean tasted like a cleaning product smells, but tastes like they taste - my parents did not have child proof cleaning cabinets.

When I made the horseradish vodkas I tried them after five minutes and thought they tasted horseradhishy enough. But I decided to let them stay over night. My nose hair, which I never had because I'm a lady, all caught on fire. But here I was with two huge containers of horseracid vodka. I tried diluting with a 1 to 20 ratio but nothing worked. So if I were to redo it I would just dip it in.*

So not a total success. Which is ok. Because eventually it will lead to total success.

Roommate: "Remember when these were all full? I miss that day."

* I was going to insert a video of greens being blanched to illustrate dipping something into something, but then ended up watching Blanche Devereux mash ups. Good day at the office.

Ol' Bay Chocolates

So I forgot to update on the whole old bay chocolate thing. I remembered today while eating what turned out not to be oyster shooters but oyster sliders at Penrose. They were delicious. Even more delicious than if they were placed in beer with cocktail sauce, which is saying a lot because I love things in beer.**** Not that that has anything to do with the chocolates, just a side note. Another side note is that my sister-in-law beat Muhammad Ali's daughter's time in the triathlon today.

**** when googling food dipped in beer I came across this. Maybe later she can become a spokes person for beer ruptured colons.

Anyways here are some pictures of the old bay chocolates. They turned out pretty delicious and way better than the original batch. Trick is not just dumping things in things and calling it a day. Letting the old bay cook in the chocolate made the flavors combine and be present all the way through - you know, instead of chocolate, chocolate, OLD BAY.

Another trick... Don't place the chocolates in the freezer to harden because you are impatient and pretending you are busy (for me this means Sons of Anarchy to watch). They are impossible to take out this way. Putting them in the fridge makes them pop out quite easily. Bet there's some cooking chemistry in there.

This is me being very serious about my chocolate placing and clearly not wanting help.

This is the finished product - what you can't see is the mound of left over chocolates. I made five time the required amount to compensate for the 100% break rate I was facing before I realized you should cool chocolates in the fridgerator.

Btwz - if you go to Penrose I suggest the pickle martini because it is delicious. My only mistake was not ordering it by the pint.

Old Bay Chocolates

So my brother is having a lobster dinner (donate to him) for a good cause. He asked me to make a dessert. However, he rejected some of my ideas:

Lemon flavored icing on crab cupcakes

Old bay/lemon icing on chocolate cupcakes

Butter flavored icing (like popcorn butter) on old bay cupcakes

So I told him I would make vanilla /vanilla cupcakes because that sounds better and I make freaking ridiculously delicious yet boring vanilla cupcakes (it's all in the room temperature butter/eggs). However, I did not say I would not garnish the fuck out of the cup cakes.

I am trying to make old bay lobster chocolates. So far my roommate says they taste terrible. But 1. she does not like old bay and 2. she is sober. I'm hoping by the end of the meal 1. she won't be there and 2. everytone will be drunk.

Apparently you are not supposed to mix chocolate with butter. so don't do that. They do not combine. Just double boil and melt the chocolate and pour them in the mold. I did this. With some mfing overpriced chocolate. stir in some old bay and cayanne pepper while melting and you have whatever the hell I made. It kinda taste like good chocolate with an old bay after taste. I honestly don't know if it is disgusting or awesome. No idea. I'm going to take them to a bar tonight and see what people of my caliber say.

I tried first to make pink claws with butter (again doesn't work) mixed with white chocolate and beet juice (red coloring).

They crumbled and failed:

this failed and crumbled. So I remelted the chocolate chocolate (white chocolate is not real chocolate) and poured them again in the mold. A bit better, but again, may taste terrible. Tomorrow I will try again.

Yuzu & Shiso Leaf Soup with Tofu Noodles.

Some girls like to take all their classy upbringing and go shopping at Louie Vouton. I on the other hand always thought the logo was XL for extra large and the name was spelled Vouton. For me, my favorite thing is to splurge on is Japanese food. I guess it's not so much a splurge as a 1/16 of a L.V. keychain, but whateves.

I take the potentially life threatening freight elevator up to the sunrise market and feel like Augustus Gloop. It is better than anything ever.

I bought these things, plus other things:


Originally I was going to make soba noodles with some shiso leaf, or cook up the shishito pepers and eat seaweed and bean sprouts but then I decided I want to make something great. So I made a soup with everything* from my shopping included and very little left out.

First I cooked the tofu noodles which smelled like a very dead fish's mold bowl - a smell I am familiar with as I had a dead fish from 7th - 10th grade. I think my mom was teaching me a lesson about taking care of things and cleaning things. I took it as a lesson in tolerance to smells. One nice thing is that the directions basically apologized for the odor. However, apology not accepted.

I then heated up some cups of water, added the miso I've been stealing from my roommate, threw in some enoki mushrooms (which I read after eating you are supposed to clean or soak or something for ten minutes - whoops, it happens), soy sauce, garlic, yuzu, shiso leafs and seaweed. It was ok. What I really liked was the yuzu and shisho leaf together. Not so much the tofu noodles. I feel like I've had them before and really liked them. Perhaps I was focusing too much on figuring out how to describe their texture for the sake of this blog that I started grossing myself out (I came up with a combination of a slug and cartilage).



* Every time I see the word everything, which is every day, I get so bitter someone already acted on my idea that was going to be my retirement fund. Everything.

**I love shishito peppers. I also like that they are getting more play in nyc menus, not as much as bacon brussel sprouts which I think are becoming as common as the option of sparkling or tap, but still more. I like to order them from ippudo so I can eat the yuzu salt. With my finger as a utensil and saliva as a cohesive I can clean out the salt bowl in seconds.

DRINK PAIRING NOTE. I put some yuzu into my Stella (I found it in my fridge, I didn't buy it, so no judging) and it was awesome! Yuzu beer. Done.

Beet Curry Pickled Cauliflower

I took a class in pickling. I guess that's obvious.

A + B = C

A= Went to Bard
B= Live in Bushwick
C= Took a pickling class

I guess there's also

A+B= I know how to knit
A+B= I like dinner parties
A+B= I've gone a week without showering

I didn't really understand that much in the class, or maybe I understood everything and it just turns out pickling is silly easy. But I made like six jars during the course. One ended up with mold on it because fermenting is confusing, but the others turned out really good. One thing I should have noted is that pickling takes a while which goes against my natural nature of frantic eating. So I ate four of them within a day. The last I saved to enjoy with my cuz.

They were awesome.

Stuff in mason jar :

Cauliflower
Peeled, not chopped, garlic (like five)
Some shakes of curry powder
Pickling spice
Then pour in the vinegar/water mixture (I do not feel like explaining how to pickle right now, so do a google).

I cut a 1/4 inch thick slick of beet and put it on the top hoping it would color the cauliflower. I got this idea from an ex who would use beets to make water color. He once painted me with a flower arm. I don't know what happened to the painting, but I'm assuming it is lost amongst (NOT A WORD??!!) my bills from ten years ago and the cause for my current rodent problem.

This is what they look like:


This is what they look like next to cheese:


I took a shit load of pictures. THey were awesome. Ideas my cousin and I came up with
- put it in a martini (pretty much my idea for all salty crunchy things)
- marinate steak in the juices
- use less garlic

Other picklings that I ate were======
pickled brussel sprouts. awesome. pickled asparagus. kinda awesome. pickled scallions. not awesome. cucumbers. pickles.

I remember trying to can apple sauce and having to send out a botulism bullitin to my family so a few words of advice:

- sterilize the mason jar by boiling for 15 minutes
- you can just put the top on and keep it in the fridge for a few months and it will be fine, but if you are going to keep it unrefrigerated, or want to keep it for years, seal that shit. Which means water bath. Which means look it up.
- buy mason jars from Fishs Eddie cause they are cheap there. Probably cheaper if you do research and buy in bulk.

Tagafluff Sandwich

'nuff said.

My dinner before leaving for a party. BTWz.