Almond Chocolate Coffee Cake

So no more stir fry writings, however, as per every day of my life, and my sodium infused, rising in pressure blood, I did make stir fry as a precursor for my three-hour marathon cake. I learned one delicious, and one endearing, thing.

Delicious Thing:
Awesome rice =
3 cups water
1.5 cups brown rice
2 bay leaves
1.5 teaspoons five spice
Salt

Endearing thing:
For the stir fry I was unable to start with the base garlic/ginger/onion situation. Why? Because I asked my boyfriend to bring me a onion and he brought rutabaga. His eyes screamed a effort, knowledge of failure and sweetness while his veggie filled hand screamed I don't know shit about cooking. Say La Vie, when life gives you a turnip make a salty mushy turnip side dish.

Almond Chocolate Coffee Bunt Cake

Sift two cups flour with 1 teaspoon baking soda. I don't have a sifter, but I did have a metal strainer and a bowl. So I sifted, slash rubbed this through. I then was supposed to melt 6 ounces of semi-sweet, however I only had unsweetend. So I double boiled 3.5 ounces of dark choco and about six splendas as well as 2 ounces unsweetened. Then like 2 more splendas.



Double boiler = pot of boiling and a frying pan. My technical creations:

Then I blended two sticks softened butter with one cup of sugar for three minutes, no more, no less. so fluffy. Eat some of this, because buttersugar is delicious. You know how I know this, I one time walked in on my roommate eating a stick of butter that was periodically dipped into sugar. She screamed "WANNA BITE", I did, I ate. Maybe not so much her screaming wanna a bite but me yelling "GIMME" but whateves. Try it. Like a mother shitting sugar cookie.

Anyways, add three large eggs one at a time - but they should be room temperature. Add the melted chocolate. Add flour stuff slowly while mixing after each time. Add one cup of milk, again in like fourths mixing after each. Then... add I don't know, some almond extract, how about 4 teaspoons, and, because I own it, four table spoons of Kaluah. Have the oven pre-heating to 350.

Butter and flour a bunt pan. I don't know the difference between 8 and 10 inches, which is why... actually I won't go there... but the pan was too small... that's not what... sorry. Pour in, cook 45 mins, let sit 20 and flip. I had a lot of extra batter and made some cupcakes. When I ate them I said ew. BUT when I ate the bunt cake I said fuck yeah. That shit was moist and almondy and delicious.

Also, as with all baking, frost everything. 1 box confectioners, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1 stick of butter, 3 table spoons milk*... blend with mixer. This time it was liquidy, but that's because I think it wasn't a full box, I can't remember what I used the sugar for, but then again I can't remember most of what I do. Juuuuust kidding (except between 2005-2009).
*Follow the recipe on the side of the box


I'm not proof reading long posts. I'm very busy. As in I have cable and the Kardasians are on.