Friday, January 22, 2010

Adventures in Baconcity

My dear friend is entering a pie contest. I have decided to join her. She is making a delicate pie of pears and berry. I am making a chocolate, peanut butter, apple and bacon pie. It is going to be judged by an Iron Chef. I am going to make an Iron Chef eat a chocolate, peanut butter, apple and bacon pie.

I started by making a peanut butter crust.

3/4 + .5X.75 = 6/4... no. 3/4 + 1.5/4 = 4.5/4? Ok, I used 1 and 1/8 cups of graham cracker crushies. I used the back of a measuring cup to crush the crackers as I have delicate hands. I combined this amount of crushies with 3/4 cup of peanut butter from my economy-costco sized Skippy jar. Then I added three tablespoons of honey. I mixed it together, taking out the old dried chunks of left over fluffer (the marshmallow goo, not talented stage hand), and then mushed it into a buttered 9 inch round pie glass baking pan. It made enough to cover the bottom and the sides. I baked this for 12 minutes on 350.

Out of the 1 pound of bacon, I cooked 4 strips. I wore glasses because it kept bullseyesing my face. Once the bacon was done I dabbed it to soak up the grease... then I remembered what I was making and said fuck it. I had my roommate peel the apples. I then cut the apples, but they taste bad because I was cheap and went to the corner store. I feel like that was a mistake. Although it's not like you're going to be able to taste anything... but you should buy good apples.

I mixed together....
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
The 4 strips of cooked bacon (which I made into very small pieces, the size of baco bits.. which I probably could have used)
All the apples

I put all this into the peanut butter crust once it had cooled.

Then I made a crumble which is the following stuff all mashed up-

1.5 (possibly 1.75) cups of flour
1 cup of sugar
* This is the best spice in the world and you should buy it.*
*I like to keep asterisks nearby.
1 egg, room temperature, but it probably makes no difference.
a table spoon of melted butter - or enough so it is a cohesive substance.

I spread this out on the top, doesn't need to be perfect, and save some for over the bacon.

I then latticed the hell out of the left over raw bacon, with it extending over the edge of the pan, put the left over crumble topping around the edges to keep the bacon from curling, took some pictures and put it in at 375 Degrees.

You probably want to put it on a cookie sheet to prevent half a pound of oil from dripping... don't worry, the pie will still be 1.5 pounds when cooked... I set my Miley Cyrus Alarm to "party in the usa" in 70 minutes. Start to watch it closely at the end so it doesn't burn, but you want to bacon to be hard. You also want to enlarge the picture.

Now I'm done and can eat my dinner: squash, cocopuffs and pickles. Like I'm pregnant. Which I'm not. Because I haven't gone all the way in 4eva. Which could be why I'm making this fat girl chocolate, peanut butter, apple & bacon pie and listening to Fiona Apple. Then again - chicken or the egg.


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