"don't bother to bring anything over to eat, we'll do all the cooking,
unless it's food that's not going on your website. Sorry"
"of course you bring a bloggable dessert"
My brother seems to understand that you may as well accept my contributions or else face the consequence of getting enough spinach balls for a month! So old. So gross.
I am bringing a dessert, but I have decided to make it really really classy. I am making citrus cake with homemade jasmine ice cream.
Citrus Cake:
Mix together 1 cup butter with 1 cup sugar. Then add 4 eggs, one at a time, stirring after each (I think I have to go back to cracking the eggs in a separate bowl first, like when I was a kid. This shits going to be crunchy). Add the zest of one lemon and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. (tip: wash the lemon first, or don't post a blog until people have eaten the cake, I decided to just wait on the blog, seemed easier).
In a separate bowl combine:
two cups of flower
two teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Add this and 1/4 cup of lemon juice to the butter/sugar stuff, stir and pour into cake pan.
It makes a weird amount. I filled a nine inch pan and 9 cup cakes. Maybe it could have been two 8 inch pans? Maybe 12 cupcakes?
I put them in at 350 for 20 - 40 minutes. Clearly I forgot to time them. Shit happens. But it wasn't under 20 minutes or over 40. So you have to figure it out yourself. I took them out around the browning around the edges stage. (I sprayed pam and flowered the pan - I'm done with buttering. There's a spray to do that.)
In retrospect I think the cake could have used some white chocolate chips.
To make the glaze I took a cup of confectioners sugar and squeezed two-three slices of orange. I used lemon instead of orange for the icing on the cupcakes and they taste like sour crap.
I made little lemon twists to beautify. After three years of bartending I have a
memory gap of 1,095 days.. but somehow I can still make delightful paper thin twists. I guess when you're able to black out carve it sticks with you.
While baking, I made the HOMEMADE Jasmine ice cream. I also changed because I realized I was wearing peach, valeour, high water bellbottoms with a shirt that says ride me ride free. I'd say I'm a good combination stripper/girlfriend.
Heat up one cup of milk (I used whole) but don't boil. When warm add two jasmine tea
bags one drop blue food coloring and two red (necessary).
Let it sit for three minutes and add a splenda to counter the bitterness of tea. Take the bags out and put it in the frigerator to cool. Once cool, add two table spoons sugar, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla.
Pour in a zip lock bag. If you have a large, like gallon sized bag, you half fill it with ice - maybe like one complete tray worth - and like 8 table spoons of salt.
I however used a large tuperware container because I don't have large ziplock
bags, I only have sandwich bags. If you have multiple sized bags you have made it in the world and are clearly well-off and established. Shake this for at least five minutes or until it is ice-cream like.
MAKE SURE to rinse all the salt water from the back, including in the little ziplock area.
I made two batches. This is delicious. Other potential flavors: Earl
Grey. Camomile, Mint. Manderine Oranage. Seriously, I want to eat this all this time. In fact, I may.
I wanted to bring over some bacon chocolate chip cookies but my roommates ate them all. Apparently they don’t read my blog or they’d know they consumed ½ a cup of bacon grease. I hate that read and read is spelled the same.
I do still have left over bacon, and I am seeing a cute boy later for a "film". I think BCCC are the way to a person's heart... however, my ideas have not always translated.
Examples:
1. 20 lbs of meat
2. Bag of dill pickle potato chips with a mixed CD inside
3. Mixed media painting of New Jersey
4. 10 slim jims with 10 mini bottles of tequila
Your blog is hilarious and I'd love to eat with you. deb
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